Wednesday, April 25, 2007

If i were you.

If i were you, i will blame everyone & the world.
If someone ask me to take it in my stride, i will say "fuck you".
It easy for outsiders to show their care and concern,
and everyone else knows its just sympathizing.

You are not me, you are just not in my shoes.
So i blame everyone & the world.
I chase away all that cares for me,
I was then left alone.

so alone.





*
Suddenly this comes to my mind when i was sketching randomly.
This proves that staring on a piece of messy sketches will makes ideas flow better then staring on a blank piece of paper.

smile a million=D

Monday, April 23, 2007

Birthday.

today is my birthday.
23th april.
past 2 days i have been celebrating my birthday,
and today on the actual day itself, nobody ask me out. SOBSOB.
nvm!=D. im still happy! thanks d6 and f7 and xian and gh, wm, irwin, mr for the ubin trip yesterday.

we have FUNFUN. and CRAMPS in our legs now.
LOL.




*
my work showcase outside the classroom. im so proud of it.
i spent in total 10hrs to complete this assignment i think.
my kopi sleep this way in the middle of the night. abit .... nan kan.
this morning i wake up to find him sitting at a corner.
usually as i open my door, he will come up to me.

i find it abit weird... so i walk to him.
he injured his front leg. =.= since when man..
last night when i came back from ubin, he is still okay.
MYMY. my dog cant walk much now. =(

my classmate. zuxian and yizhen. i took these because i was too bored........
zuxian and lifei and nicole. the 4 girls whom i hang out with in class everyday.last time.
now that we have all end up in different class. but we still have lunch together!
my classmates of year one.

the floor. obviously.
and me. obviously too.
on the day when my family celebrated my birthday with me!
cakecake. im 18, WOOO. count the candles.!
my skill in cuttin cakes is power to the core man. anyone wanna employed me for cutting cakes?

bimbo.tic.
i remember i have photos of my ahgong's 92 years old birthday too!
so i just randomly post it up lah!
ahgong used to teach me how to catch birds with a bisket and stick with string.
he has a hard time blowing so many candles.
LALALA~
i had a hard time getting this photo from sam.
its in her hp for a very long time, and i never got the chance to take it from her.
why i want this photo u may ask....

cox my face look SLIM in this photo. MEIMEI DE.


f7. Ubin trip!
16 of us on a boat. i love the feeling when all of us are on one boat.
its like the feeling of friends forever.
greengreen. i love green.
seriously mister yap. u look gay in this pic. =X
sunset. i cherish the moment at ubin when all 16 of us got lost together, yongxian got hurt, my leg got stuck in the mud, the sharing of coconut drinks with ting, the houseflies house, the shiokness of cycling down the slope so fast, and when we all see the same sunset at the same time.


thanks!












=D

Saturday, April 21, 2007

UBIN!

yesyes! we are going to ubin tml to celebrate hf and my birthday.
finally im reaching 18 on this coming monday.

181818.

nice to be 18!.



*
empty words again.
where is the trust.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

why should i bother.

yes.
why should i care in the first place.
its up to u to do whatever you like...
its not as if im yr mother.

i feel my concern for you is not appreciated.
i am worried for you, yet you dont seems to get it.
i told you this, you always forgot that.

you want to do it your way; go on.
you throw my words into the bin; you dun give a shit abt it.
why should i care.


why dun u get it.
why do things that make me worried and angry at u.

the reason is simply u forgot.



your old excuse.
and forever your sorry.
i dun need it fuck.
i really dun need the sorry part.

since my concern is not appreciated,
since u noe i care, u still do it.









forget it.







no matter how i ramble on,
it will happen again iszit it.

if u feel that i have shown too much care and concern, tell me.
so that,

the next time, it happen again, i probably wont give a damn.
and i wont get piss off.
and you can save the sorry and escape my nagging or whatsoever.



iszit that a beautiful resolution to this vicious cycle.
=) tell me mister yap.

Monday, April 16, 2007

100th post.

OHH today is 16th of April.
school reopen.

fill of people and activites.
youthful and young.
whats better then creating a carnival-style environment for the year one students to bland in with np.





at the end of the day,
tired is the word.



i miss class today.
=D.
lucky its nothing important.
week one is always so boring.....
orientation week. everything else like lessons start at week two for my course.

and

week seven is always so stress.
because projects dateline are approaching.



*
you blow my monday blues away.

nizlopi- jcb song

Sunday, April 15, 2007

London bridge is falling down. again.

ever wonder what u want to do with your life?

life's short.

you want to get serious and accomplish something that makes a different to the world?
or
you live for yourselve and do whatever things you want, make yourselve happy?



i cant decide.

whether i want to the latter or be the accomplisher- the great one.
and its has to depends.

its not as if i want to a accomplisher, i will be.
i choose to the first one now.

when difficulties get me, i start wondering and have second thoughts.
forget it.
just be a happy-go-lucky siaocharbo.

iszit that easier?
much easier.

i just ignore everyone's feeling, and do whatever i think will make me happy.
i think cutting off that cat's tail will fill my day, makes me happy.


so i do it.



i think throwing firecrackers at cars makes me thrill, makes me happy.



so i do it.




i think you sucks, and your face shouldn't exist in this beautiful world, so i throw acid at your face. It give me the kick, and makes me happy.



so i do it.





i don't give a damn.
its all about myself.
life's short.
why should i bother with rules, and other people.
it's me im living for...
im the unique one.
im the special one.
im a non-conformist.


im joy.






(so self-centered.
disgusted*)







okay. the scenario change.
life's short.
i want to be someone great.
i want to achieve my one million before i reach 30.
i want the world to remember me.
i want my name to be leave in history.
i want to makes a difference to this pathetic world.
i want to save the world.
i want to save the animals and stop deforesation with whatever mights i have.
i want to win the most gold medal for singapore.
i want to be the prime minister of singapore. (okay maybe you only aim to be a member of parliment)
i want to be the first singaporean singer to achieve a grammy award.


achiever.
u can aim to be a achiever in the physical or emotion way.


do you want to?








or you just want to be my friend, who get old with me, crack nuts with me, and we gossip and bitch till we get too old to even speak.

the average plain jane or joe who work from 9-5. goes to ladies night after work, get a guy or girl, fall in love, get married, bore a child, grow old have wrinkles, worried about trival things like "do my hubby love me still?", and "am i getting bald?"















i don't know what i want with my little life.












船到橋頭自然直。

不是嗎?
不要強求就好了。



i feel like drinking mutton soup.





i went out with sam today.
i tell you!
she is mad about daren..
=D.

okay. school tml.
and it sucks.......

Thursday, April 12, 2007

missing child.

i wake up this afternoon, when my mum enter my room to remind me to pick up bell from school later.

i said okay i will.


i reach her school at 1.30.
5 mins late den usual.
usually my mum will reach at 1.25 to pick her up.

i waited at the gate, rain start pouring down. its getting heavier and heavier.
i open up my fav vintage umbrella...



5 mins passed.
i didnt see her.


another 5 mins passed.......
im starting to feel worried.
i called my mum,
"hello. where do bell normally wait at?"

"at the gate lo. you didnt see her ah?"






....
my mum ask me to search around the school for her.
meanwhile she call her kakis friend if bell is with her.


i didnt see bell around.
my mind was thinking omg. this kind of missing child case wont happen to my family right.
i should have leave home earlier. wtfwtfwtf.



i walk one round around the school, carefully scanning every student face,
in case i miss out on her.
and then i walk back to the gate to see if she's there.
nope.



not there.






my mum called.
she say bell is with her friend.

and ask me to go to coffeeshop to meet her now.

DAMN.





i slowly walk to the coffeeshop.
the moment i see bell.
i shout at her,
"WHY YOU FOLLOW OTHER PEOPLE?"

the whole coffeeshop people was looking at us.

to fight with the loud thunder and rain sound,
my next sentence was even louder.

"HUH. WHY DIDNT U WAIT?"


bell's eyes start to get watery. her eyes flicker elsewhere, avoiding my stare.

i push her shoulder in the most ahlian style way.
she start crying.



and then we all have lunch and went home.












damn. make me so worried.
okay im gg for class BBQ later on at parkway at night.
very far.

and its raining.


sian.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Yesterday.

wake up early to go to liondance dry-run performance.
Its sian.
and hot.
and hungry.

because i was hungry.
so i wasnt in the mood to help out much,
much less to say to listen to the incharge who is speaking non-stop.

eating is the most happiest thing that can happen to me.
after lunch we went to clean the clubhouse cupboard.

kenneth. playin with rodney.
THERE. i say.
the rest were in their own deep thoughts.... while i happily finish up my chicken rice.
this is ken and rod's creation. they simply just dump everything in the cupboard onto the floor.
old dusty cupboard. i never know clearing up that big pile of rubbish is that funnnnn~


see what we found! the tiger was awesome. but why is that dragon blue in color.
blue dragon just doesnt look wow.
and we found this power ranger sword. GOGOPOWERRANGER.
and this. what is this called? waistbelt? latest season design!
modelled by...... KEN.L.
this doll look spooky lah. with her broken arm dangling one side.
ting say she wanna set green background for me to take the picture somemore.

i try taking again. and the photo look even more spooky.
Leon head. =.=

we even found barbie. whose hair can be move up and down.
chinese opera mask.
anyone wanna bid?
martial arts book 武林密幾。
we were slacking outside while ting and leon were cleaning the trouphys.
=X.opps. they were looking at..
my slim harvannas. gold color.. easy to get dirty.


they were still playing with the powerranger sword.
=D.






now that we have clean up the cupboard.
we were all smelly and dirty.



so we have lunch again, and shooooo home.







i rem i yell at zhijuan on the phone yesterday.
i ask her if she knows today got lion dance.
she say she forgotten. in her nonchalant tone.

i look at ting. she has send out 2 smses that long to every member to remind there is liondance on tuesday.
and u simply say "ohhhhhhh,i forgot" , in the most "i dun give a damn" tone.





ting look expressionless. and when i told her, she's just sigh and never say much.
i was the one more agritated then her.



i know the feeling. i msg everyone before to get their shoe and tee size number. and its only one sms that long.
i msg all of them at 9am. asking all to reply me asap.
angie was the last to reply me at 4plus.


she was working cant blame.



juan add on to say she cant go out today anyway.
if u didnt add on this sentence, i wont have get so heated up and yell man.
anyway, its yr freedom to come or not.

and when i called u that time,
i haven eaten yet.
a hungry man is a angry man.





so whatever it is,
sorry for yelling at you in the phone.
i forgot its your freedom to come or not.

=D.
smile juan~

Sunday, April 08, 2007

2weeks..

this 2 weeks i have been busybusy.
time practically flys.

lastlast sunday i went to this pet carnival.
saw different types of dogs. cute ones, small ones, ugly ones, BIG ones.

all kinds.


i suddenly realize my kopi is not consider a small dog. he is a medium size dog.
small dog means the size of my palm.
that is called small dog.

mini dogs are sooooooo cute lah.
i can simply kill them by just gently squeeze their neck.
so vulnerable.
their feet is 3 times smaller then my kopi feet.

imagine what happen when i happen to ACCIDENTLY step onto their feet.
will it wince? or bleed first?

MUAHAHA.anyway,

photos.

look at that dog feet. SMALL RIGHT. the bone will break if i step his feet i think.
and his head will probably come off if i pull his collar lash too hard.
too bad i didnt take his face. this dog has a interesting face.
A dog with pig face. mix breed?
A big. dog. his owner size is big too.
i am fascinated by this dog that i keep following him and take photos.
he is really BIG.
SEE BIG. other then BIG, i cant think of other words to describe it.
his action is slow, lucky.
if this dog can move fast, it will be scary.
dajie. patting him.
bell. touching his butt. thats called molest.


this thing here fascinated me too. its a BIGBIG poodle.
look so fake. dunno why i find poodle abit er xin.
4 schnauzers! can u spot kopi??~
this dog has a human look face.
WAH MY FAVOURITE DOG OF THE DAY.
Schnauzer! MINI MINI schnauzer. its 2 time smaller then my dog. very cute right!


my younger sis with another mini dog.
me with another mini dog too.
i cant own a mini dog, i will have this tendency to kick dog's butt.
just like how i have the fetish for old uncle wearing yellow crors shoe, riding a scooter.

i reach home, and try taking a photo of my kopi.
AYA, that mini mini schnauzer is much cuter den kopi leh~
why dogs have long eyelashes? for what. it should be implanted into human's eyes. rightright.
when kopi was smaller, he looks cute. btw, this photo is thamtham contact display picture in my hp. tham are u honoured?

that day linda bought her dog to my house.
WAHLAO, her dog bully my dog lo.
kopi was so friendly.




okay enough of dogs.
now work.
this 2 weeks i have been working for np admin.
first week was boring, i bring books to read everyday.

ghost stories book.
cleo magazine.
her world.
i was so free to even plan liondance meeting stuff and future plans.
i was writing poems too!

leon and ting came to look for me to pei me talk, while i was working somemore.
thanks. make my time pass faster. =D.

my name tag that has been with me for 2 weeks.
this is my crappy colleague, peiling.
she also makes e time pass faster for me.
whats more, shes in business studies, and she know that skinny 123.
and she is also a taurus. her birthday falls on 25th April.

no wonder we click siaocharbo~
another colleague cum friend.
i have nothing to do waiting for the new intake students to come into the lecture hall,
so i make this.
flip behind, and this is my reminder to myself. it happen such that i have to do my enrollment that day.
talk about enrollment.....

my enrollment appointment was at 2pm.
my break starts at 12.30om, so we decided to go out of school to eat our lunch.
u noe, canteen food sucks.
we went mac to eat.

when we finish our food at 1.15, it started raining very heavily.
and i start to panick. i have to use the laptop at school to enrol for my IS.
What if by 2, the rain still have stop?
how to go back to school???


lucky, we manage to share a cab with a SIM student, who was also stuck in the rain.
She got the cab first, and ask if we wanna share.

=D how lucky.



on thursday, my colleague brought chocolate easter eggs for us!
see the paper work behind?everyday we have to sort out papers.
GREEN EGG!
i was prancing around the office, (bored u see. can slack just slack abit lah holhol)
and then i saw thamzhihao name.
on the enrollement package.!

congret doggy! finally u are reunion back with yr owner , ME.
welcome to np!
peiling was sorting out paper till she chance upon this form.
with the name saddam hussein on it.
that was the student name.

i love this photo. i dunno why.
office.

i learn alot in this 2 weeks while working for a school organization admin.
they are efficient.
they have alot for paperwork to sort out.
they have to handle weird and nasty demanding parents who diedie want their child to enter a particular course.

we see desparate olvl, ite graduates everyday.
come to appeal, or register for a course.

or color-blind students coming up and say they wanted to remain in their course, dun wish to be transfer to another course.

too many cases. im like watchin drama everyday.

lalala~=D last day of work.


okay below is some random recent photos.
bell.with her mum's new SE phone. the new flatflat phone.
cool. very cool. cause its so flat.

mr yap has lousy phototaking skills.
my papa.
ohh the finale.
my photo.








i have finally finish ming's project that sunday when i didnt sleep at all.
the next day i still have to go for work.
pimple outbreak. =(.
the red bumps are back. sian.













i was thinking.
how do you define good and bad?

good music and bad music. is that such things?
as long as it sounds pleasing to my ears,
its good?

good movie and bad movie.
as long as it has the usual plot, starting, sequences, climax, resolution,
its a movie?

good friends and bad friends.
as long as we care for each other,
we are friends?

good student and bad student.
as long as u score well,
u are a student every teacher will be proud of?


good person and a bad guy,
how do u tell?







its all in our styrotype thinking, isn'it so?

Friend.
whats the use of having a good friend who cares for u,
but wont help u out when the need arise.

whats the use of having a good friend who cares for u,
but always giving u the shitty attitude "you-cant-live-without-me".





we all love ben&jerry icecreams.
its good! we all know.

but my ahgong will say the potong red bean icecream taste even better.